Chat Habits
I have a small confession to make. I hope you don't judge me after you hear this, but I still go to chatrooms. Not often though. Perhaps once every few months, when I'm bored enough. I can't tell you where my secret spot is but it's a chatroom in a popular Iranian website. I go there because I think I might run into some of the other vets from my own era.
When I go to chatrooms, I find myself among an army of guys and girls who are there to pick up someone or be picked up. That's why I always pick a unisex nickname to log in with. However that has not really helped me stay unaffected because everyone thinks I'm a guy. The girls either ignore or flirt with me. And the guys accuse me of trying to pick up their girl. I once got mad at a girl who insisted that I'm a guy and asked her why she said that. These are the reasons she gave me: 1. random sense of humor 2. sarcasm 3. correct spelling 4. good grammar 5. polished sentences
I thought that was pretty depressing that a fellow girl thinks only a guy can have those. To tell you the truth though, sometimes I take advantage of peope's presumptiousness and once it's established for everyone in the room that I'm a guy, I start flirting with a guy. Naturally he freaks out because on one hand he "knows" I'm a guy, and on the other hand he finds himself enjoying our little flirt exchange. Now that's a dirty trick. I admit.
From time to time, however, I come out of closet and tell them that I'm a girl. First there is a lot of dispute going on as a couple of girls refuse to believe that they've just spent a good hour hitting on someone who is not the least bit interested in them! But then there come the men with their lame pick-up lines. And if there's one thing all men are after in chatrooms, it's not sex. It's your Yahoo!, MSN, or AIM user ID. Apparently they're under the impression that the girls they meet in chatrooms are precious stones they can't afford to lose. So after exchange of a few questions and answers, they decide that we can move on to the next step which is having to see the person's user ID on your messenger everyday for the rest of your life. (I do keep the ones I was stupid enough to add so I can make myself permanently invisible to them.) My generic answer to their generic "Got Yahoo?" is "Whaaaat? What's that?"
"Yahoo messenger," they say.
"Sorry. I have no idea what you're talking about. [blushing smilie]"
Apparently nothing turns them off than having to explain to a stupid girl what YIM is. They don't give up just yet though. They give it their best shot: "Nevermind. Just give me your email address now and later I'll walk you through the rest."
"What exactly do you mean by email address?" and I keep on playing dumb.
Supposedly to them it's not too unlikely that a girl doesn't know anything about the internet because soon they give up and leave me alone.
Now I wish I could use the same strategy when people ask me for my phone number. "Uh, what are those?" at 6:55 PM by negar

Prize
If there was a prize for the most annoying soundtrack ever, it would have to go to Godard's Breathless. I insist.

Of all the celebrities, a nutcase like Tom Cruise should put a Persian name on their kid. This is not helping with our reputation.

The other day in the French film class, one of the girls dared to say that she thinks Jean-Paul Belmondo is better than Jean Gabin. We all gasped and waited for our professor to have a heart attack. Nothing happened. He didn't even throw the podium at her. Life is so eventless. I'm disappointed. (No need to say that the professor worships Jean Gabin)

My friend with whom I had three classes in a row (reduced to two later in the semester) dropped out of college on the basis of cuteness. He got an offer for some acting/modeling job (so he says) and is off to NYC or LA in a few months. So maybe life isn't that eventless for others.

Tonight my friend called and asked me to go watch Syriana with him. I said that I couldn't because I have to study. And that was the truth. I do have to study but look what I've ended up doing. I'll go study now. Good night. at 1:03 AM by negar

Some People are Just Amusing!
I get an email from the president of Persian Student Association, an organization I used to be an officer of for two years. It's the usual election announcement, except that...ok, here's my thought process while reading the email:
Uh, finally they remembered that we an election coming up...ok, let's see what's new this year....... huh, his English has improved...wow, it has really improved...hmmmm, that sounds very familiar...and that too...and that sounds like something I would have...what the hell?!!!
It takes only an advanced search in my mailbox to find out that the email he sent to the listserv is the EXACT replica of the email I wrote last year for the same occasion. The only things he had bothered to change were the dates and the signature. What he didn't know was that I spent so much time writing, editing, and proofreading those emails obsessively that I won't forget them for as long as I live.
Way to go Mr. President! You have put so much thought, time, and effort into running this organization, that I'm tempted to nominate you for re-election. We truly need hardworking, conscientious people, like you, in our leadership positions.
Mr. President for re-election! at 11:09 AM by negar

The Aftertaste of a Nightmare
She looks at herself and she sees flaws. Imperfections. Worse than that, she sees mediocrity.
Flaws and imprefections you might be able to improve but how can you ever overcome your own mediocrity? at 2:06 AM by negar

Confessions


Bob's Lover does not believe in love.
Or Bob.

P.S. The picture is of my very own Bob, originally created by these guys, sent from Taiwan by Asad, and assembled by me. at 11:06 PM by negar

Sexist Pig
I'm pushing my cart through a rather wide aisle in Walmart. As I pass by some kitchen towels, I stop to see how many there are in each package. That took literally seconds to do. Once I turn around and look back at my cart, I see a big, tall guy in his 40s or 50s wheeling his cart rowards mine. As if I didn't exist at all. It occurs to me to not do anything and let him figure out how to get around me. But I dismiss the thought and get a hold of the cart while apologizing to the guy. He doesn't say anything. I try to swing my cart into a nearby ailse but right then another guy walks out of that aisle so I have to pause and let that moment of confusion pass. This all happened in perhaps 5 seconds. Finally when I get out of the way, even though technically he was coming the wrong way (left side instead of right), he turns to me, gives me a dirty grin and says "women drivers!" I fake a laugh, stop, give him an empty, cold stare and walk off.
Now I'm one of those people who do complain about women drivers (because I'm a sexist pig too?) but I do that only when I see a female driver doing something stupid (not that it justifies my generalization). However saying that to a random stranger just because she paused and let someone pass instead of jamming her cart into his groin, is just rude and sexist. Would have he said "men drivers" had I been a guy? at 1:06 AM by negar

School is taking over my life!

-I write this post just so Sh. doesn't blow up that blog.

- It's that time of the year again. Only a couple of weeks to the end of the semester and no matter how much effort I put into keeping up with school work, there's always a deadline or two I miss. So pardon the sporadic, nonsense posts. I assure you that I will be writing more as the finals approach (it's a closely observed pattern with me).

- Speaking of deadlines, I can apply for a VIP pass to the WorldFest again this year. It's a pretty tempting thought but so far I haven't found anyone to share the lodging with. So we'll see.

- Tomorrow I'm supposed to go to a departmental reception where supposedly I and a couple of my friends will be "recognized." This is the first time in a long while that that kind of thing happens to me. I have no clue how I became eligible and why. I have no clue what the award is. I don't even know if it's a formal event or a casual one. Which brings me to do this question, why in the world am I going? And I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer. (I just read that quote somewhere and had to throw it in somehow)

- Last week I watched Paradise Now and loved it. First let me get this out of the way: The guy who plays Saeid's character is too hot for a suicide bomber! If all the suicide bombers looked like him there wouldn't be so much violence as the Israeli girls (or guys) would pick them up before they could pull the cord. Seriously though, it's a very touching film and it can give you a whole new perspective on the Palestine/Israel issue as it's a story about the very ordinary people, not politics. I recommend it to everyone and actually can't wait to watch it again.

- I also watched The 400 Blows last week. For the second time. I was worried that I wouldn't like it as much as I did the first time( which was two years ago). But I did. And for the first time I cared enough to argue with my friend over a film. It went something like this:
Me: Did you watch the 400 Blows?
Kat: Oh, yeah.
Me: Didn't you just love it?
Kat: Love it? That was the most boring movie ever!
Me: Whaaat? How can you say that? That's the best film we've watched in here (my French film class) so far.
Kat: Well I thought it was slow.
Me: That's the point. Life's slow.
Kat: So what? Movies are supposed to be a break from the reality. I don't want to watch anything that resembles my life.
Jason [a very quiet guy who sits behind us]: So you grew up in a French orphanage!
Me: Or maybe it's because her dad wasn't really her dad and her mom hated her and she had to sleep in the closet. She always cut school and then she had to steal a typewriter from her dad's office and then...
Kat: Alright you win!!!
Me: Of course I do. [big grin]

- I don't know when was this. Maybe last week or the week before that. I took a few pages of my writing and a lighter outside. I set the pages on fire, stood back and looked. It was so relieving to see the words burn. And then the wind picked up the ashes and they disappeared. And I'm not trying to be romantic. It was really windy that day. Anyhow, I'm thinking of making a ritual out of this. Anyone up for it? ( I should delete this later because I'm afraid from now on I will get blamed for every grass fire around here)

- The lousy thing...no, one of the lousy things about itemized posts is that I never know when to finish. So I write and write until I remember I have a post lab due tomorrow at which point I have to quit writing and go to bed, hoping that I will wake up early enough or that Dan guy puts my name on his post lab. There's of course a plan C, according to one of my classmates. And that is crying. He said it never worked for him but suggested that instead of trying so hard to keep up with my classes, I should just go to my professors and cry until they feel sorry for me. at 12:56 AM by negar

Much ado about things that I don't want to change
This made me self-conscious. So self-conscious that I decided to shut up for a change. at 12:34 AM by negar