Two more weeks...
[...and then I will have nothing to do. How exciting. ]
- You know how you plan to do all the items on your to-do list during the Thanksgiving break and you end up not doing anything at all? [Sigh!]
- There's this guy who I regret giving my email address to. The first few days, he sent me a zillion emails which I answered very kindly. Then I got mad because there was ALWAYS an unanswered email from him. So I told him not to email or call me (yes, I was stupid enough to give him my phone number too). But the guy is either dumb or stubborn. He stopped calling me alright, but he still sends me an email every couple of days reporting what he's been doing (like I care) and asking me what I'm doing (like I would tell him). And if he sees me on campus, he stops to talk and I always have to pretend like I'm late for something. You might say he's nice. And he may be. It's just that NICE isn't my type!
- Of my biggest questions/problems is what to do with my hands on the days that I'm not wearing anything with pockets. Seriously.
- I'll pay someone to write me a good 15 page paper about the German rebel/youth films of 1950s. Anyone? Anyone? FINE! I'll do it myself.
- I would write more but I think I will be better off if I go to my statistics class instead. Just two more weeks of this (school) and I'll be done! Yay! at 12:39 PM by negar

Black Friday
I wake up but I keep my eyes closed. There are rushed foot steps for no reason. It's my sister going between rooms everytime she gets an instant message. You'd think the house was on fire if you didn't know what the loud buzz, followed by the groomp groomp of her footsteps, was. So much for being considerate of others who happen to be sleeping.
Then there's talk of the blood clot in the brain. The phone calls keep coming in. There's talk of surgery. A suction to get the blood clot out. I keep my eyes closed, hoping to fall asleep again. But I can't. I open my eyes. I don't know what time of day it is and I don't want to know. I keep my left hand under my pillow. Why should time matter? It's just a number. Telling you how much time you have to prepare to evacuate body.
There's talk of transplant. I stay in bed. I read the label of my bedspread. Wrinkle Resistant. Do Not Iron. Made in U. S. A. When there's nothing else for me to read I get up and go to the bathroom. When I use my fingers to comb my hair out of my face I catch a glimpse of my watch in the mirror. 2:30 looks like 4:00 when inverted in both directions. It's not dark outside so I decide it's 2:30 PM. Time to wake up. From one nightmare, to another. Waking up from the world in which I'm in a doctor's office when I remember I haven't shaved my legs for months, to a world where the headline news is that Sean Preston, Britney Spears' baby, will be on the cover of the new issue of People magazine. And worse than that, to a world where people get blood clots in their heads while they're sitting there waiting for their bone marrow transplant.
It truly is a black Friday.
Oh yeah, and happy Thanksgiving everyone. at 2:41 PM by negar

I do random things when I'm studying physics
at 3:24 AM by negar

Super Long Post
Nasy has mentioned before that she dreams of one day having her very own bed & breakfast place. I always liked that idea but I had to wait for her to get her PhD before starting to plan on it. But now that all she does is stay at her home in California and burn the eggplant stew while waiting for O to get home, I thought it's the right time to start talking about the bed & breakfast. During our two hour long conversation today, we assumed that all of you can't wait to quit whatever you're doing and join us at Nasy's Bed & Breakfast. So we gave each of you (those whom we knew mutually) a responsibility at the b&b. We hope you like what we decided you should do, but even if you don't there isn't much you can do. You're doomed to do what we tell you to do. The details of the plan will unfold as we go through the list.

Nasy: Hostess. I don't exactly know what a hostess does except for sitting on her bottom all day and giving us orders but she's the boss so I had to give in.

Negar: Chef/Chauffeur. I'll be cooking. What exactly? I don't know. I'm no good at making breakfast. Let's just hope that our guests are not very picky. Besides, we can always bribe them with chocolate truffles, Nasy says. I will also drive the guests around as long as they can stand listening to very loud, shake-the-mirrors music.

Asad: Back-up Bartender/Assistant Chef/Janitor/Ghost. Ok, this is complicated. We thought he makes a good bartender because he knows what to do with people who pass out at weddings. Ok, maybe that's a lousy reason. He's a back up anyways. He'll be one hell of an assistant chef though. He sure knows-or claims to know- how to make scrambled eggs and that's something I can't do. But to be honest, we don't know if Asad will be a good janitor but we just like to be evil to the evil one. And then the ghost...uh...I think I forgot to mention this will be a haunted bed & breakfast and who better to haunt guests than our own Evil Asad?

Anahita: Maid/Physician. You know how she's been complaining about her job? I figured she is so tired of being a doctor, she'll do anything! So why not wash sheets and make beds? She can also bring her wonderful recipes with her. Besides, I think we do need a doctor on site, considering the type of things we plan to do.

Linda: Receptionist/Ghost 2/Freak Show Coordinator. Well she claims to have worked in costumer service so she should be a good receptionist, as long as we keep her away from the bar. What sort of haunted bed & breakfast has only one ghost? We need a second ghost and she's the second most evil of all of us. Nasy also plans to have a freak show, in which we will all participate but only a Nature Freak can organize a freak show.

Mohammad: Musician. I insisted that we should let Mohammad finish highschool but Nasy, unlike you might imagine, doesn't believe in education. So he'll be playing violin in the lobby because according to our Hostess, "violin goes with the haunted theme."

O: Concierge/ Bartender. This is very simple to explain. You're founding a bed & breakfast, and among your potential staff you have a French man. Do you think twice before making him the concierge? I think not. Apparently he's also skilled at mixing drinks so there we go, we have a bartender. A French one!

Solmaz: Casino Manager. Lawyers are smart, right? We believe she can make it so that the house always wins, and I mean ALWAYS. Oooops, I think I forgot to mention that the bed & breakfast will be located in Nevada

Kimia: Maid/Literary Consultant(!)/Showgirl. We make good use of her talent. She'll write poetry and leave it on the pillows when she's making the beds and folding the sheets. She will also be a showgirl because we're in Nevada and she's young. Now that's good reasoning.

Shirin: Investor. We want her money because we're convinced that people in the UK are rich. Not only that, we want her to come and hang out with us because we are guessing she's very fun to be around. Honestly, I wanted to make her a showgirl but I'm afraid Kamyar won't like that.

Mola: Musician. We believe he plays some sort of instrument, probably piano. So he'll be playing at the lobby too. But to be truthful Nasy's plan is to get him to come to Nevada and then use force against him to make him start writing again. I hope it works.

Farzad: Investor. Boss says he has a stable source of income and we need one of those. I don't understand this because Farzad doesn't live in UK and therefore can not be rich.

Maryam: Showgirl/Back-up Musician. Nasy says her bed & breakfast will be an equal opportunity employer so she wants to have the first, as Maryam puts it, "Hejabi" showgirl of the history. She also plays the piano so she can fill in for Mola when he's injured!

Cyrus: Translator/ Dealer. We expect a lot of guests from Japan and without Cyrus we'll be like that episode of Seinfeld where Goerge and Jerry kept giving oranges to the Japanese businessmen and Kramer had the Japanese guests sleep in the drawer chest. And I just realized we can't have a casino without a card dealer. Although having a PhD makes Cyrus a little over qualified for the job, that doesn't stop us from making him a card dealer. Nothing can get in our way really.

A few pets have been picked to be displayed at the zoo: Tiger Fish, Sushi, Ginger, Gump (Asad, I know you renamed him a couple dozen times but I just can't think of that other name), Solmaz's cat, and Linda's niece (isn't it wonderful to have a diverse family?). Also I think we can make Asad sneak in a few monkeys when he's returning from Taiwan.

Damn, this post is so long and it doesn't even cover all of Nasy's plans. Just use your own imagination and see what fun we could be having.
If you're not mentioned here, it doesn't mean anything. It took me three hours to write this and I'm so exhausted now that I don't remember what I've been writing. at 1:15 AM by negar

I'm scared. at 2:04 AM by negar

Every year we, international students, are forced to buy a medical evacuation and repatriation plan, which basically covers the expenses of sending us back to our home countries in case we're terminally ill or dead. My problem with buying the insurance isn't that it's morbid. It's just that if I'm to die (which I am, eventually) I'd like to die and be buried here, or wherever it is that I live in that time. It's like buying car insurance for a car you don't even have. But what the heck! I spend a couple of grands a year for my education. A stupid $25 insurance doesn't make the slightest difference.
I just can't wait to win a mega million lottery. Maybe I should start buying the tickets!

p.s. This reminded me of today's BOASAS. at 3:32 PM by negar

Happy 2nd Birthday
...to my blog!
As you can tell I have a thing for changing my template as soon as we all get used to it. But that's exactly the point: we shouldn't get used to anything. at 1:34 AM by negar

Also sprach herr professor
"I wish I was a monkey so I could throw poop at people."
And this is right in the middle of a very serious lecture about the Germany of 60s and 70s. at 1:35 PM by negar

Persian Pervert
This guy got busted on MSNBC's Dateline. He's a 26 year old Iranian medical student in Virginia. And he looks so normal! Our national reputation would have been threatened if the story of the rabbi, who showed up to have sex with a 13 year old boy, wasn't so distracting. You may watch a clip here (click on launch) but I haven't found any place where we can watch the whole show. By the way, if you don't want to bother with reading the whole chat log (which I don't recommend at all) keep in mind when watching the clip that the guy who walks in with the blue shirt and white shorts is our guy.
p.s. Since I learned about Amir, I feel like I'm actually less embarrassed by the fellow countryman who sprinkled the pastries with human waste. at 1:47 AM by negar

My sister says the cutest things!
My mom: So did you hear that Nematollah Agassi (a folk singer) died?
My sister: No!
My mom: Yeah, it's been all over the Iranian channels.
My sister: I see. Well in that case, it's a shame that his son hasn't done anything for him yet.
My mom: Huh? What son?
My sister: Why, Andre Agassi, of course! at 12:48 AM by negar

Plan A
You know how they say that in order to be successful in your career you should find something you enjoy doing and then find a way to get paid doing that?
Well I enjoy driving and cooking. Is anyone looking for a personal cook/chauffeur? I hope you are because my plan B is no fun. at 10:30 PM by negar

Write Club
[Quit twisting my arm, Asad!]

I wrote this the second after Asad sent me his part of story. At 2 AM of the night before my physics exam, this sounded really good! Later I read it and disliked it but didn't change anything since it's supposed to be spontaneous.

The first rule of Write Club is that you can talk about Write Club.
The second is that you have to finish your part within 3 days or you lose your chance.
The third part is that you have to cc everyone else who has contributed to the write club story.
The fourth part is that only one person can add to write club at a time.
The fifth part is that you and only you get to pick the next person to write in write club.

The truth is that back in the old days, before Ali’s great grandfather bought the house with the money he had made selling tobacco to the British, the house was a mansion that was itself a part of a royal complex. Each of the seven mansions in the complex was home to a Qajar prince or princess and his or her family. The mansions all sat next to each other but they were separated by walls and fences. There was no way one could go from one mansion to the other without exiting the complex and re-entering through a different door. That is unless you were an insider. Then you’d know that all the mansions are connected to each other through secret underground passages. This was so the royal family could meet in secret without the knowledge of the informers who disguised as maids and servants.
As Ali stood at the intersection of two narrow damp passages, he thought of his baby sister being all by herself. However, before he could feel guilty about leaving her, he was distracted by a dazzling light at the very end of the tunnel to his left. It was just like a star except that it was emerald green. The light blinked at Ali a couple of times and then faded away.
Ali didn’t give it a second thought; he stepped into the passage without a pause. With arms wide open, so that his fingertips could touch the walls, he walked. Walking in the dark wasn’t as easy as he had imagined but fortunately there were no turns he could make that would take him to the wrong destination. So he walked and walked, his fingers being scratched by the rough surface of the walls. By the time he reached the end of the passage, the light had glittered a few more times and Ali had increased his pace a little more every time.
Once there, he searched for the source of that mysterious light. At first he didn’t find anything but then he looked up and there it was. “That can’t be,” Ali exclaimed, “Mommy said there exists no such a thing!” Then a big grin appeared on his face, revealing a yellowish set of teeth with a lot of absentees. Somehow, almost magically, he knew exactly what to do.

The next part will be on Linda's blog shortly. (Yes, Linda. I do make promises on your behalf.) at 11:36 AM by negar